I've loved him - well, it seems all my life I've loved him. I cried at his sorrows, laughed with his joy, and when I died, it was almost so that his death would be easier for it. Actually, I even forgot when I died, but I remember when he did, because I made sure that I was there.

When Ripper first told me about vampires, I was skeptical. I mean, he was always a smart guy, but I thought that maybe he was a bit too eccentric. That it couldn't be real. Then I saw my first monster. I suppose that it was good that I couldn't scream - that my descent into Rupert's world was silent because it was in silence that I met Spike. And it was in silence that I saw Spike kill my love.

It happened quickly. In fact, it was so quick that I forgot that I had already known it would happen. I meant to somehow stop Spike - as if my ghostly hands could stop anything. But I came too late and entered the room as Spike, in his first stage of revenge, stabbed my beloved Ripper. It wasn't pretty, and he was sleeping. Not too brave on Spike's part. I yelled "Coward!" at Spike and he turned around, blood and revenge dancing in his coldly beautiful eyes. He looked at me and at first I forgot I was dead. I was scared that he would come for me next, but he only saw through me. He just stood there though when I came around and laid next to Rupert, he stood so still like he could sense my sadness and joy. Rupert was with me forever now, but at such a terrible cost. Soon more vampires came and Spike woke up. They took the body, and I just slept next to my man.

Rupert woke up that morning and wrapped his arms around me. He moved his hands over me, caressing my hair like he had done a million times before. He nestled into me and it was then that he realized what he was doing. He woke with a surprised start, because they all knew that I was already dead. I kissed him, and he knew then what he was. Sometimes ghosts don't need words. But then, sometimes we need words even more.

So I told him. I explained how Spike had gotten the chip removed. How he had visited a quick and lethal revenge on the Scoobies, and how I was to escort him to wherever it was we were supposed to go after this initial awakening into the other side. He resisted, of course. His beloved Slayer, who he had chosen long ago over me, was in danger. So I gathered him up and took him away from the room to where he could see Buffy. We watched silently as she discovered Ripper's body. He cried as she mourned, and then smiled triumphantly as she utterly destroyed Spike and his vampire cronies. Then I showed him what I saw. He saw through me how Buffy would live and how she would die. He took me in his arms, appeased at last. Did we go to heaven? I don't know. But I know that in my mortal dreams, this is all heaven could be.